Dinner tables are theatres for family gatherings and drama. Celebrations, familial feuds, heartbreaking tragedy, mundane conversations – all take place at the table where we break the daily bread. As a writer this is an indispensable setting to explore in the thread of your life story.
DINNER TABLES AND CONVERSATIONS
Carefully observe conversations around your own dinner table as well as in restaurants. Take note of topics, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Enjoying a meal is a sensual experience, with a lot of room for metaphor and description. Much of the action could be suppressed, underlying emotions that could be explored in your writing and your memoir.
KAREN BLIXEN – BABETTE’S FEAST
Great stories in literature have their origins around tables. A most unforgettable image is The Last Supper, captured in countless words and paintings.
Another example is the book Babette’s Feast, written by Danish writer Karen Blixen, who is famously remembered for her memoir Out of Africa.
“With the mysterious arrival of Babette, a refugee from France’s civil war, life for two pious sisters and their tiny hamlet begins to change. Before long, Babette has convinced them to try something other than boiled codfish and ale bread: a gourmet French meal. Her feast scandalizes the elders, except for the visiting general. Just who is this strangely talented Babette, who has terrified this pious town with the prospect of losing their souls for enjoying too much earthly pleasure?”
DAMON GALGUT – THE PROMISE
Funerals are notorious for drama and upheaval, and unsettling family matters. This in an excellent topic to explore, should it form part of your life story.
The Promise, winner of the 2021 Booker Prize, charts the crash and burn of a white South African family, living on a farm outside Pretoria. The Swarts are gathering for their Ma’s funeral. Much of the dysfunctional action centers around family meals.
MARITHA VAN DER VYVER – LAASTE KANS
The Afrikaans writer Maritha van der Vyver’s latest book has the theme of a seventieth birthday party celebration, around a restaurant table. Most of the action and conversations center around the shared preparation and enjoyment of food.
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS – GLUTTONY
In America, notes acclaimed novelist Francine Prose, they are obsessed with food and diet. “And what is this obsession with food except a struggle between sin and virtue, overeating and self-control–a struggle with the fierce temptations of gluttony.
In this book Francine Prose serves up a marvelous banquet of witty and engaging observations on this most delicious of deadly sins.”
CAST YOUR MIND BACK TO THE DINNER TABLES OF YOUR CHILDHOOD
Where did your family eat dinner and what were the conversations about? How does it compare with your setting and habits now? Did what happened around the dining table then, influence and shape you as a person?
Who would sit at the table and were there any rituals, like saying grace? Did the children assist with food preparation? What kinds of food evoke memories?
Consider life-changing events in your life – did some of them involve family gatherings or breaking bread together? A meal memory could also be a flask of water and dried apricots in the mountains during a hike, or a solitary meal at a restaurant table in a foreign country – the possibilities are endless.
DINNER TABLES AS A CHRONOLOGICAL THREAD FOR YOUR LIFE STORY
“I always wondered why the makers leave housekeeping and cooking out of their tales. Isn’t it what all the great wars and battles are fought for — so that at day’s end a family may eat together in a peaceful house?”
Ursula Le Guin
The possibilities are endless as we need food to survive – next to breath, water, and sleep. Use dinner tables and the rituals of meals as the chronological thread for your life story. As an author coach, I am here to assist you with your writing and publishing process!
5 Responses
Dinner table stories. My favourite topic and grateful heart is talking about how many people and hearts go on to getting out dinner on the table. From God almighty blessings, to the sun, to the earth, to the transport, to the Market, to the work mom and dad to pay for it, to the teller, to the gas that cooks. How we are all connected. My children eyes roll. But to be we are all connecting in a beautiful miracle.
Happy December gifting and wonderful topics of how great life is.
Thank you, Catherine, for your valuable comments, I really appreciate it!
Dear Catherine, thank you for the wonderful memories you shared with me – and may you have a blessed and creative 2024!
Dinner (and other) table stories… Life happens around dinner tables, especially around dinner tables because people have time to interact. Sunday lunch tables as well. Thank you so much for this post, Anemari. It is full of wisdom and offers great prompts for writers. The 2001 movie Tortilla Soup happens around a table with a family interacting. Beautiful to watch.
I remember from my childhood days how the conversations went: from the mundane to heavy politics and religion; from us children who didn’t want to eat certain food to people who were not as fortunate as we were. Later on, during my student years, heavy arguments (in Afrikaans I call it “bek gevegte”) happened during these times. The reasons being we began to think for ourselves and started to differ from our dad, and he didn’t like it. My mom was the one who tried to keep the peace.
Last, I will never ever forget the wonderful, delicious food my mom prepared for us, her hard work as a stay at home woman, and also a time when we were still quite small we had the following habit: before we started to eat, my mother sat down on her chair, my two brothers and I and our dad stood behind our chairs, held each other’s hands and only after dad said grace we sat down and began eating.
Thank you, Philip, for your insightful comments, I really enjoyed it! Take care!